this movie is pretty triggering as it talks about various eating disorders and mainly focuses on anorexia nervosa. i felt sick for awhile but i don't look sick and i get triggered bad by this movie but i love it so much even though it makes me feel like im not sick enough to show. i had even tried throwing up after binging and i couldnt get myself to throw up not because im scared but because nothing would come out anyways.. but its okay! even if im still in this state of mind
i just dont want help sadly or i dont feel sick enough, dont look sick enough to ask for help. i dont really talk about this feeling with anyone so ill just vent out here on my own.
"i've got it under control, nothing bad is gonna happen"- 8:56
→ TW ; Starving in Suburia - Tara Miele(2014)
this movie is WAY more disturbing, more trigging than to the bone imo and some scenes made me uncomfortable. this movie came out during the rise of tumblr and with thinspo or thinspiration—selfies, photos of very skinny people with their bones sticking out which is and looks unhealthy.
the girl develops an unhealthy obsession with a website promoting thinness which grows into a severe eating disorder. the scene where theres moth flying around in the room and her mother opens the closet door and she finds multiple plates of moldy food and theres moth catapillers feeding on the food and even laying eggs which would fill the room with a pungent smell that i can't even imagine.
but i don't like the ending where the girl just immediately heals from her eating disorder, i feel its too unrealistic since those are bad habits and its incredibly hard to get rid of habits and eating disorders are also a serious mental health disorder. i feel like eating disorder have layers to it and it takes time to heal if youre so deep in like the girl was so the ending, imo doesn't make sense
"i'd rather die than be fat" - 55:11
→ TW ; Girl Interrupted - James Mangold, Flim (1999)
i love this movie despite the dark topics since it mainly takes place in a mental intuition and i also want to read the book since susanna kaysen published it based on her experience of two years and the book goes more in detail than the movie ofcourse.
the complexities of the real life people who are probably alive today as said in the movie that the others were out by the 70s. daisy randone is the one im most fond about who is played by brittany murphy who i absolutely love. and daisy honestly has the saddest scene in the movie as she commits suicide by hanging in her bathroom on her birthday with wrists slashed as well while having "the end of the world" by skeeter davis on repeat.
and the scene before her death made it saddening as her eyes are like voids without emotions as she spoke calmly to susanna and lisa in the movie. the acting was phenomenal despite the fact the people are based on real life ones.
"maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe i was just a girl, interrupted"- 2:08
→ The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky(2012)
i watched this movie before reading the book and i love the visuals. i feel like i can say the same thing with the movie and the book since both are amazing. i honestly feel this movie in my bones, down to my soul. its so beauitful, it was so beautifully written in the book and the movie captured that. this movie really made me cry, its everything to me.
i said so much about the book and i feel like what i say for the book is the same for the movie. ♬
